What Time Do You Close?

Not MY face - I'm thinking "YES! Party of 10 equals BANK!!"

Some fellow servers and I are just going to have to part ways on this one, as today's post does not reflect the opinions of most restaurant people.

No doubt most waiters and waitresses will tell you that one of the top most annoying things a customer can ever do, is to walk in five minutes before the restaurant closes for the night expecting to be served.

I saw the question posed on an online forum recently, which read "How long before closing is it acceptable to come into a restaurant for dinner?"

Service (and I'm using the term loosely here) Industry people had definitely taken over the conversation, many arguing that "about an hour" before the posted time is the "appropriate cut-off time" to be seated in a full-service establishment.

I chimed in, and basically told them to get over themselves.

At five to fifteen minutes before closing time all across America, things are definitely being cleaned up and put away. The cooks are breaking down the grill and taking their pots and pans to the dishwasher. Servers have taken apart and cleaned the cappuccino machine, the tea machine, and polished their silverware. Bartenders are pouring hot water over the ice bins and wiping everything else down. The manager is waiting for the last table to pay so that their closing paperwork can begin. Everybody's just counting off the final seconds before they can clock out and go home. I know this all too well my fellow restaurant people, and whilst you or I might never walk into a restaurant five minutes before closing ...

The truth is, we're still open.

No doubt, servers absolutely hate it when they think they're about to leave, then two people stroll in asking "What time do you close?" (... as if the sign out front didn't already answer that question. You're not fooling us with that one, you do realize?)

Anyhow, allow me to be the bad guy who tells these servers that "In five minutes..." is not the correct answer.

I know you've worked a double and have been on your feet for twelve hours. I also know what time you have to be here the next morning. And I know you're pretty sure that your chances of getting drunk or laid are diminishing the later you stay here tonight. I know. The customers don't know this though, and - Newsflash! - they don't want to know either. All they know is that they're hungry, this is a restaurant, and your lights are on.

Unless your restaurant's policy clearly states otherwise (via a sign or consistently observed policy) the only correct answer to these nice hungry people's question is "We don't stop seating for another five minutes, so you made it! Right this way..."

Sorry, I know you were thinking how nice it might be to get off "early" for once, but alas, such is not your fate tonight. Your fate is to work a little harder on that degree (or whatever your thing is) so that one day, when you own a business, you get to decide when it's okay to turn people away. Until then, you're in the "Hospitality Business" which requires one thing of you above all else - some hospitality!

If you really need to get off at a specific time each night, you can always take your people skills and go work at Wal-Mart. We both know good and well however, that your significant other knows by now that you don't get off (or home) at the same time every night - "It all depends on how busy we are" right? Well guess what? You just got busier. So hate me if you want, but I'm just telling you that right now you've got people to wait on. You need to suck it up, be appreciative that they're spending their hard-earned money in your section, and get ready to maybe wash that coffeepot out one more time.

You can argue that "one does not simply walk into" an auto mechanic's business or a dentist's office five minutes before closing, and expect them to stay an hour later for you. You'd be quite correct in that argument. But you're not a dentist, you're a waiter.

In some businesses, the posted closing time is indeed when the last person has to leave the building. Not true in American culture, in the restaurant business however. Here, the cultural norm is that people can come in - and be seated - up until the posted closing time. That's just the way things are, so if you can't play by those rules, then quit asking your boss to give you the money-making closing shifts anymore, and go back to getting "cut" when the newbies do, okay?

Now I am reasonable, and there are limits. The guests need to know this as well. It's okay to politely convey that "Because the kitchen is closing, I do need to get your order in to them in about five minutes." Or two, whatever the case is. That absolutely should be made clear. This is not a case where they're going to be able to enjoy two cocktails and appetizers before ordering. No, not this late. The kitchen staff is already going ballistic in fact, but this should not be conveyed. Nor should it be compounded.

The food will probably come out pretty darn quickly too. They need to eat it, and pay fairly promptly. I don't think the guests in this situation need to feel that it's okay for them to linger, either. I'll gladly take any table that comes in five minutes before closing (or five minutes after, if management is agreeable and the kitchen has not already been broken down) BUT there's a huge difference between closing a place down, and thinking it's alright to still be there when it opens again.

People can come in at the last minute, and I will feed them. They are not permitted to order a third bottle of wine and make out in the booth however, while the waiter, busser, bartender and manager are waiting for them to leave. Nope, that's expecting just a little too much, Romeo and Juliet. I will cordially feed you a great dinner (I will not offer desert), and I'll give you "about an hour" - tops - after the posted closing time before bringing the check.

I will then politely but kinda firmly say "Hey folks, I'm glad we got you in just under the wire, but my manager has to have the books closed out now, before the computer something something something..."

So that's my take on it. When there's still time to be seated, we need to wait on you, and not complain about it. And because we did, when your food is gone and the restaurant really is closed, you need to go.

Fair enough?


Hard to tell just who's side I'm on sometimes, isn't it?