Mr. McGee, Don't Make Me Angry

Seriously. Is this a guy you want chasing you into the parking lot with a baseball bat?

So, you guys remember my friend Shannon, don't you? 

He's the waiter that saved my life by pulling a booger out of my nose for me, just as I was about to deliver food to a table.

I'm going to tell you one of his stories, as I wind down this series (and soon-to-be book!) on restaurant tipping and the reasoning behind the "autograt" (Newbies, please see Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - and Part 6 sometime. You'll get a few laughs, and probably thank me for the education).

When last we left off, I'd just been stiffed on a $600 tab. While that's quite an emotional experience, my telling of it was tempered by the fact that I've got over 20 years in the restaurant industry behind me, and at least possess the wherewithal to somewhat control myself, and (usually) NOT chase the offending party into the parking lot to let them know exactly how I feel about the situation.

Well ages ago, while we were still young whipper-snappers who didn't give a frying pan about our jobs, this guy did just that. That Shannon, he's a lawless one, I'm here to tell ya.

I don't recall the exact situation that led up to this, but apparently, the tip he was left impacted him (i.e., pissed him off) enough to chase after the customer in the parking lot. Whether it was one, two, or ten people he waited on (beats me), they left him a dollar.

One. Measly. Dollar.

Shannon went outside, and I guess it's lucky for them that it took him maybe a minute to get back to the table to find their dollar, and then to bolt out the door. Otherwise, they'd have met one angry dude face-to-face. So, he sees them either while still walking down our long sidewalk or in their car driving off, somehow gets their attention, and rips the dollar bill into shreds, yelling "Here's what I think of your @#$% dollar!" 

He then threw the pieces into the air and walked back inside. Yup, every server's dream...

Now do I know all this because Shannon told me the story over a beer, after the shift was over? No.

He and I were cleaning up or doing whatever it is we do as waiters at the end of the shift, when our manager, Donna, walks up and says "Shannon. Put out your hand for me." Shannon extends his hand, palm up. Donna places hers - closed-fisted - above his, then slowly extends her fingers, while shredded pieces of dollar bill fall into Shannon's hand.

Busted! Obviously, the customer must have turned around, walked back toward the entrance, taken the time to pick up all the pieces of their not-so-generous dollar tip, and then made the effort to walk back inside to find a manager. And (I'm guessing) perhaps "chewed her a new one" before finally leaving.

She says, "Consider yourself lucky we're so short-staffed right now or I'd fire you on the spot. But if you ever........" 

Professional or not, what you've just read is quite arguably a healthy emotional reaction to the situation he was faced with. (That he actually got away with it is nothing short of legendary, haha!) But so often, when most of us servers find ourselves in that situation, we suppress the natural emotional response for the sake of keeping our jobs, and we wind up not taking our frustrations out on the customer directly. Many of us also wind up drowning, or working our frustrations out, in some famously unhealthy and/or illegal ways.

Now I really don't know if Shannon's service on that particular table "sucked" or not, but I've already detailed why leaving less than 10% just isn't right - ever. But 10% likely wouldn't have provoked such a response or action on his part. As you should know by now, he most likely wound up paying out of his own pocket to wait on that person (or group) and this makes us all pretty angry.

Now imagine that Shannon, myself, or any waiter comes in to work a larger reservation. Your wedding party, maybe. Say we two servers share a party of 25 people. We get there well over an hour early to set things all up for you, and we wait on no other tables (guests, customers, whatever you need to hear me call you) that entire night, because the tables in our sections had to be pushed together and are of course held empty until your group arrives. Everything goes okay - maybe with some minor glitch or two thrown in for color - but overall everyone got fed and most folks were genuinely happy.

The group leaves late that night, leaving two waiters (and hopefully a busser!) to clean up. And then we waiters open that little book, only to find out that we've worked all these hours and some cheap bastard (not you, of course) again left us a whole dollar. To split.

Do you REALLY think that guy will stand even a snowball's chance of getting out of the parking lot un-accosted? By not one, but two, angry waiters? Whose rent is due tomorrow?

There's a saying (that I made up one day) that goes "Every policy, law, or rule there ever was - is because of something stupid somebody does..." 

My point is, that fact that you and I EVER see a tip included in our bills at restaurants, is NOT because restaurants in general are snooty places who just expect you to pay good money for bad service. 

And if you're reading this, know that it's probably not your fault either, nor a reflection of how most restaurant servers feel about you personally. But use your imagination for just a minute please, and try to picture the evolution of how the practice of "automatic gratuity" most likely ever came into being in the first place...

Over many years, many thousands and thousands of diners - whether just plain cheap, uneducated, or foreigners simply unaware of the norms of American restaurant culture and all that I've painstakingly detailed for you these past weeks - failed again and again to pay their waiters and waitresses for service rendered. Waitresses cried, and waiters broke things. Some walked out of their job in the middle of a shift, leaving lots of people hanging by their absence. Customers got confronted in the parking lot. Again and again and again.

Maybe some restaurant or three in years past even got SUED based on the actions of an angry waiter. Like Shannon. Like me. Like Mabel at the Waffle House or Sven in Los Angeles or Sebastian in New York City, I don't know. Really I don't know how automatic gratuity got started, but I'm willing to bet you double-or-nothing of 20% on a bottle of Dom Perignon that before the autograt came into existence that SOMEBODY got physically injured over this very issue.

Then again, I'm just guessing - but do you have a better theory? Everything starts somewhere, right?

All I'm saying is that at some point in time, some restaurant owner or manager made a judgment call, and instituted a new policy. Others saw that it was good, and followed suit. 

If I were to ever meet that person, I'd probably kiss them.

And probably you should too.

Okay I know... so maybe you don't always like it when you see a tip added to your restaurant bill, especially when you're the one paying a particularly large tab.

But if you've ever had too much wine while dining out - so much that you completely forgot to even sign your credit card voucher when you left (I've had this happen to me more than once) - much less do the math required to tip properly while you were intoxicated, then please just trust me when I say ...

You have the autograt to thank for the fact that you woke up the next morning, taking for granted that both your skull and your car's windshield were still intact.

   You'd think I'd be finished with this topic by now, huh?

   No, not quite. Subscribe if you care to see how this ends.
   And tell you friends about www.TheWorkingGuy.com !

There's a Bartender Position open, but I'm not getting it

Apparently, I'm under-qualified for a good bar job in Florida...
Why? Your resume is about the LAST thing they're looking at!
Image Source

Hey we finally have a bartender leaving.. moving on to other things.

That means there's a position available where I work, and as you know, I'm qualified!

(Or maybe not, going by the picture!

That IS the problem I ran into when we moved to sunny Florida, btw... All the best bar jobs seem to be awarded primarily to "hawt chicks" who would - for obvious reasons - draw a regular crowd of lurkers to spend their money at a given establishment.)

Not so much the case here in our little corner of Paradise tho.. Being right by The Convention Center, we cater mostly to tourists who probably won't be back - at least for a year. And, our bar-staff is primarily male it turns out, which all things considered should put me in the running.

And with Play-Dough's life taking him elsewhere, there's an opening.

Now, even tho I've kind of thought that I can't wait to get behind a bar again, it may or may not be what I want here. Just in talking to our other full-time bartenders - "Benny and Joon" and "Speed-Gel" for instance - I've learned that switching from "the floor" (waitstaff) to bartending may not be in my best interests. They've all indicated that at this place, they probably made more money as a server here .. so, I've often had to ask myself "Even if a position opened up, would I want it? And if offered, or asked, would I take it?"

Turns out it's not my decision to make after all, this time at least. I'm not being offered the open position, or asked to take it. I might feel a little miffed by this, except for ... Well ...

Here's how it went down, according to Benny, who related the story for me:

Once Play-Dough announced that he was leaving, there was a bar meeting betwixt the remaining bartenders and management. The manager asked them all to submit a name or two, as to whom they'd like to work with, and see moved from the floor to the bar.

My name did of course come up, Benny said. But - according to Benny - here's what "Mike" (the General Manager) said:

"No. He's one of our best servers. I'm not taking him off the floor."

Note that I'm not arrogantly making that claim about myself, just repeating here what I was told.

Perhaps you've experienced this yourself, or heard of someone else complaining about this very thing... In some job situations (restaurant or not) you can actually be denied a promotion because you're too good at what you're already doing! Yuppers, I have a local friend who's told me the same story - that he couldn't move into management at one job he had, because management didn't want to lose him from their sales force - he was just that good!

So in this case, the open bartender position goes not to Guy, but instead to-o-o- ("The Envelope Please...")

Chuckles!

I like Chuckles, and she's a great choice. Altho she has no bartending experience as of yet, she's still a great worker, knows more about our high dollar wines than I do, and makes great conversation with her guests.

She's also fun for me to work with too, as we have quite a few similar interests - we share a love of red wine, chocolate, studying male/female relationship dynamics, and lame jokes. Especially lame jokes. We swap puns all the time. ("Hey, why will you never hear a psychiatrist urinate?" "Why?" "The P is silent! Bwah haha!" Yeh, we're like that sometimes when in the same room. She's the main co-worker here I go to with (and she with me) beginning a a quick conversation with "Hey, you got time to hear about the really stupid (i.e., "punny") thing I just said to my table?" Why if I were a single man, I might just ...
... Creep her out because I'm 20 years older than her, haha!

All told, she has the personality to become a great bartender. It's a different world from waiting tho, and I just hope the stress of it all doesn't turn her head as bald as mine one day.

Best of luck to ya Chuckles!


Anyways, I WILL get back to the tipping thing eventually, it's just that I've been a bit overdue sharing this particular story o' mine with ya, and recent personal developments make it worth throwing in at this point.

Mayyybee you know what I mean, mayybee you don't ;)

Best Job Posting ever!

"The sign said long haired freaky people,
Please Apply"  Image Source 

Hey been busy. Real busy. I will resume (and possibly conclude!) my series on tipping soon. Meanwhile, just had to share this funny ad for a server I saw on Craigslist.

Those of you job-hunting just may learn something from the tips the author posts ;)

"We are looking for a self-motivated experienced server (maybe 2) to join our weird little family at .... We are a bunch of seriously odd people, but we work hard and make decent money. 

There's no uniform, no flair, we don't sing on birthdays. Kids never eat free and we don't have live bands, karaoke, writer's night, or trivia. We DO listen to good music, wear comfortable clothes, and tattoos and piercings are A-OK! If you are a trustworthy, hard-working, sincere individual with REAL restaurant experience, please stop by and fill out an application.

A few tips:

We need people that can close -- night time availability is a must.

Bring a pen. If you borrow one, you obviously did not come prepared. Not a good sign.

Clean yourself. While we appreciate a nice tattoo sleeve, dirty ripped jeans is not appropriate for a job interview. Try to smell nice.

Be honest. No better way to piss off your new boss than by getting hired under false pretenses. If you aren't available on Thursdays, I need to know. If you tend to get arrested, that is also helpful info, etc.

Other than that, showing up ON TIME is always good. And by on time, I mean 5 minutes early."

Love it!

If not for the fact that "2 adults can dine for around $20" I'd love to work with these people.

Gratuity Not Included

(Wow. This is taking longer than I thought it would. I told you the topic of tipping was pretty complex. If this is your first time here, you might want to read Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 of this thrilling series on tipping in restaurants before proceeding.

Definitely read this older link on "How Getting Stiffed Literally Costs Me Money" (as a waiter) or you'll be kind of lost.)


Brazillian Tourists are boosting the Orlando economy,
according to WestOrlandoNews. But mine? Not so much.

 Yes, I know you may not like it when a tip gets automatically included in your bill when dining out, and I know some of you have some genuine horror stories and complaints about this.

But here's one of mine.

Like many in my line of work, instead of spending this past New Year's Eve ringing it in with my lady, I was working late.

Restaurant people get stuck working most major holidays because of the higher volume of people eating out, so this is normal. Those of us in relationships usually do our Valentine's dates on another night, and waitresses who are moms often wind up working doubles on Mothers' Day. Such is our life, and we don't complain about it. Much.

Well, just moments before 11pm (closing time) a family of 7 Brazilian tourists walks into our restaurant for dinner. I've found that Brazillians are something of a mixed bag when it comes to tipping. On the one hand, I think of the nice father/daughter I waited on awhile back who left me a solid 30%. But some I work with say that in Brazil, most people with any money at all have house-servants, and they look at waiters and waitresses as "beneath even them" in life, and can wind up being pretty rude to wait-staff, and not even tip them, or tip maybe only 5 or 10%.

Whatever the case, it's my turn to be seated, so I'm about to find out. My miniscule chance of getting home for the midnight smooch, of course officially flies out the window.

The group lucks into a completely private room because a) that's where I'm stationed tonight, and b) almost everyone ELSE :) dining in the restaurant tonight has GONE HOME ALREADY. So these guys feel like they have the place all to themselves, can really let their hair down and get drunk, loud and silly, which they do.

They all order our modestly-priced $75 per person New Year's "package" which includes appetizers, salads, Certified Angus Beef steaks, drinks, and deserts - but not gratuity - as was clearly stated on the promotional menu. All told, the nice family ran up a bill of approximately $612.97 (which is going to cost me about $30 in tip-out to my support staff, no matter what amount they leave me as a tip).

The clock strikes 12, I pop their champagne (thinking wistfully of being with my own wife right now) pour it for them, and I have a great time (I'm lying) yelling "Happy New Year" with my new friends who don't speak much English. They take pictures - with me in them - over desert, and two of them even hug me on the way out of their own private little party room. Dad puts a fat wad of cash into the little booklet on the table, then offers me a big smile of gratitude for the "muy bueno" time had by all, and shakes my hand as he too, leaves.

I reach for the book. If there'd been just one more person at the table, the auto-grat would have been over a $100 tip. If they go 20%, I'll be looking at $120 - definitely consolation at least for what I'm giving up by being there for them tonight. But I'm no fool, so I'm bracing myself and preparing my heart for ten percent, so as to not be disappointed, just in case.

I start counting. One hundred, two hundred, three, four, five, six .. Six-ten, Six-eleven, Six-twelve, Six hundred and thirteen dollars.

Three cents.

10 or 20 years ago I would have wanted to punch the wall or chase after them into the parking lot. I have done both of these before. Many other unjustly stiffed servers have done just that as well, often yelling, cursing, or flipping their customers off in the parking lot.

Sometimes we pull out the calmer "Excuse me, but was there something wrong with the service?" line while the guests are still in the restaurant, in hopes of politely explaining to reasonable people who have made an honest mistake that gratuity was not included in their bill. But surprise - generally speaking, doing any of the above - or anything ELSE that would just come naturally to anyone who might be reading this and found themselves in the same situation - is grounds for immediate termination in pretty much every place I've ever worked.

While not exactly angry, in this case my more primal insticts begin over-riding my brain, or what years of experience have taught me. I've faced this exact situation perhaps a hundred times (altho never for this large an amount) and I know.. good and well .. that the only smart thing to do...

... is to just let it go.

But no.

This one's just too big a hit to take lying down, and I guess the whole holiday thing makes me feel more emotionally charged about the situation, than is usual for me. "MY picture, is going to wind up on YOUR Facebook "Trip to America" pics, and you're leaving me three cents?!?" O hellz no...

They're still in the building, and I'm going after them.

I leave the private room fully intending to pull out "the calm approach" when I see Luigi, the manager, in the lobby asking them if everything was al-right and wishing them a nice evening. That's not why he's really there, it's just what we restaurants want you to think. He's really there to make sure no other late-night revelers try to slide *in* the door, as these ones are walking out.

His presence is enough to make my brain engage again.

Can't .. say .. jack. Must .. keep .. job. Can't .. do .. squat.

Let it go.

I exhale calmly, hoping that all the bitterness and cancers of the soul this situation can cause for me will be exorcised on the spot. I keep my big mouth shut, and go to finish cleaning up so that I can just leave.

My instincts tell me this was not a malicious act on their part. They're a large group, and at many places in America, gratuity is added automatically on tables of just 5 or 6. At our place it's 8. At some places, they might just get genuinely discriminated against simply for being foreign, and have probably had the tip added to their checks before, regardless of their group's size. Odds are, they honestly thought it was included, but just didn't bother to read the check closely enough to find out.

And as a result, Guy got screwed.

Not that I'm planning on taking a poll, but I am officially voting for tipping being automatic, in certain cases at least.

It's not just for the protection of the servers however. What if Luigi hadn't been standing there, we must ask? What might I have said? What might any server in America - with wayyyyyy less years of doing this than I have under his/her belt - have said? Or done?

Imagine it's you ... What would you have done, knowing that instead of paying you $100 for GREAT service rendered, that these people just cost you $30?

I'm just saying, that the auto-grat is there, in part, perhaps as much for your protection - from the servers that is.


You new here? Read Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 of this thrilling series on tipping in restaurants, and use the box at top to subscribe via e-mail for much, much more.

Buenas Tardes.

Would You Like Fries with That Filet and Lobster?

"Hi, my name's Fred and I will be
your minimum wage waiter tonight."
Image by Fredex

Part 5 in a series on the practice of tipping in restaurants.
If you're a "regular" your table is ready now. Read on. If this is your first time dining with me, I'm sorry, there's a wait. Read Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 and then I'll be happy to serve you.

(I crack me up sometimes...)

Many people who don't like to tip waiters well when dining out, or who resent the tip being added to the check in some cases, often feel that restaurants should just pay their servers minimum wage so that tipping can be done away with.

Previously, I talked about the massive increase you'd see in menu prices if that were case.

Today's Special is the low-down on why you'd receive much, much worse service almost everywhere you eat, if that were to actually happen.

This one's much more palatable than the last few, so a nice Pinot Noir would go great with this entry, rather than a more stiff cocktail. You see, I can tell you that because I'm an expert, and a professional. You tell me a little bit about what you like perhaps, and I can tell you exactly what you will love to eat and drink tonight, and also help steer you away from something you might really hate. And guess what? Experts don't work for minimum wage.

My apologies to any minimum wage workers reading this, first off. I haven't meant to come off as disparaging with the "Burger King / Wal-Mart" remarks, and I generally respect anyone with enough character to hold down any job.

That said, for my purposes here, do you know what minimum wage actually means? It's what someone gets paid to do a job that requires minimum training, minimum education, minimum experience, and minimum skills to satisfactorily meet the expectations of their employer, and in some cases, their customers. So depending on where you actually like to dine out, perhaps that's fine for you, and spending your hard-earned money on a $4.99 meal (that now costs you $7.99 in a world where the restaurant pays their waiters minimum wage) works for you. If you are okay with the absolute minimum levels of service, skills, and knowledge of food, required to get yours in front of you, then by all means, continue to argue for your right to pay $7.99 for a $4.99 burger that you resent tipping $1 on.

All I'm saying is that *I* certainly won't be the one serving it to you. Fred will.

Remeber my previous example of "an okay night" for me? ...Where I walked with $75, and could expect to see about $4 on my paycheck for that shift? Well if you're sharp, you may have noticed that I also stated that I earned $75 for 5 hours of work. That's $15 per hour, huh? And that's a slow night, and a yearly wage I stated I would not be satisfied with.

Fact is, waiters and waitresses who are good enough to work full-time at places that demand that they possess a little more skill and training than a fast-food worker, aren't going to work long at all at a place where they earn less than $10 per hour, or considerably more. Whether they work to make ends meet or are paying for their college, nobody lives on or saves up much on $7.25 an hour. ($7.25 times 40 hours minus 20% for taxes times 50 weeks is $11,500 per year, by the way. Take a good look at your server in a nice restaurant next time you're out. Ask them if they have kids maybe. Do you think that person gets by on $11,500? Not even close.)

Even at a busy I-Hop or Denny's or Waffle House, I can almost guarantee you that anybody possessing the skills required to hold down that demanding of a job is taking home anywhere between $10 and $15 per hour, on a year-round average. And if they're not, they're taking their skills somewhere else as soon as they can find a job opening.

My point is, that being an even barely competent server (much less a good, or great, one) requires training way beyond what your typical minimum-wage worker possesses. And if you're hoping to receive something maybe a little above "barely competent" service when you dine out, then you're expecting to be met by someone with a pretty developed set of skills, whether you realized this before now, or not.

Whether you're dining out with professionals whom you hope to impress, or a woman whom you plan to propose to over desert,  or just celebrating any special event with family and friends ... do you really want to "trust the details" to someone who can barely hold down a minimum wage job, and might not even be any good at it? Are you going to ask someone not old enough to drink what wine will go perfectly with the seasonings in your meal? And do you really think that someone taking home $200 per week will be able to offer you credible advice on which $30 or $50 entree is better?

Well, if your answer to these questions is "No" then I'm here for you. So are many others in my profession. We're glad to serve you, but we expect to be paid to let you tap into our superior knowledge.

To wit, just this week I waited on two separate couples who exemplify exactly what I'm driving home here.

The first ordered a $61 bottle of wine (a brand they were familiar with already) and I was able to compliment their selection and tell them things they didn't know about the product, and the winery, which they thought was neat. From that point on, they didn't view me as an hourly chump, but more akin to a professional whom they could trust for advice, simply because I immediately met them conversationally on their level - in this way, at least.

They'd never been to our place before, so they wanted some help deciding on food items. We conversed, and they ordered the appetizer I recommended (which they thought was divine) and both of their dinners were something I personally recommended as well, which they also loved. With a desert and cappuccino, their tab came to $174. Steep huh? But they appreciated my good service and guiding recommendations, and my ability to help them get what they wanted out of the night, and left me a $35 tip.

The second couple was familiar with our restaurant (been here once) and they started out with questions about their wine. They wanted white wine, probably a Chardonnay. I don't like many whites, but it's still my job to help them before they commit to the expense, right? Ergo, I start up the dance by asking "Do you like fuller-bodied wines, that are maybe oaky and buttery, or a more floral, fruit-forward taste? Well then, you should ..."

(Insert professional level consulting fee type of advice here.)

From there, it was a matter of helping them decide on dinners and pairing the best bottle of white wine that I thought would compliment their meal. They too both ordered what I recommended. We had some brief pleasant conversation on a few other topics, but this being their "date night" I knew to balance serving them well with making myself scarce so they could enjoy one another's company, instead of mine. That too, is a skill - we call it "reading your tables." The trick is to figure out as soon as possible exactly how much attention, conversation, and "presence" they'll want out of their waiter, and how much is too much. Get that wrong one way, and they're disappointed because you're not there enough. Get it wrong the other way and your waiter can be downright annoying, right?

Like if Fred were your waiter, he might've told you more than you really cared to know about the painful boil on his leg or his troubles getting a date for the prom.

Since that wasn't the case, this couple appreciatively left me a $30 tip on their $150 tab.

Win/win. Everyone's happy.

Now, at our income (and priorities), the Doxy Lady and I are not about to go out and drop $200 on a meal. Maybe you either, I don't know. My long-running joke goes "I make it a policy to only work at places I can't afford to eat at."

Nonetheless, there's plenty of people out there for whom spending that kind of money, routinely, when dining out, is no biggie. So here's my question : if they were met by Fred the minimum-wage waiter who is about 17-19 years old, would their dining experience have been anywhere near what they were hoping for when walking into our restaurant?

And how about you? Do you really want to see the world transformed into a place where every time you go out for a nice meal on the town, you are met by minimum-wage workers who can "take your order" but have no real clue on what to tell you about the food you're getting? Or probably less-than-average people skills, and customer service training? It's sad to me that by most official "classifications" waiting tables is defined as "un-skilled labor." It's true in some senses I know, but you've probably dined out enough yourself to realize that's not quite the whole truth either!

While you don't need a college degree to wait tables, you'll never do it well without lots of training, and experience, and finely-honed skill sets being developed. I write mainly in hopes of helping you to realize what the couples I told you about above, realize already - that great service has value and comes with a price. These couples respected this, and tipped accordingly.

Unlike the Frenchman I also waited on this week, who left me a quarter.

Arrogant snot.

I'll try to remember to tell you that story later, or the one about Didi who just last night got left $10 by some foreigners who ran up a $300 tab. I heard that she cried.

Which is a perfect segue to tackling the topic of the Auto-Grat - when the "tip" or gratuity is automatically added to your bill.

Given the last two examples above, I think you'll agree now that sometimes it just has to be done.

(Don't be left hanging!!

Use the blank box at top to

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P.S. - Sorry this took longer than anticipated to get out. An urgent matter demanded my attention over at my other blog.

Why Waiters Should NOT Earn Minimum Wage

Part 4 in a series of Why You Must Tip Waiters & Waitresses
Please first read Part 1 here  Part 2 here  Part 3 here

CNN Money article on tipping agrees: 
"15% of bill (excl. tax) for adequate service;
20% for very good service;
no less than 10% for poor service"

For those of you still with me, my thanks. To re-iterate, I don't think you owe me or anybody else a living, but I do feel that we all need to pay people for services rendered. The image here from CNN Money and Emily Post backs up my previous statements on "how much" the appropriate tip for waiters and waitresses is.

You've now learned from my previous posts that waiters and waitresses' employers (the restaurants) really don't pay us diddly-squat, and that possibly 95% of our income actually comes directly from you, the patrons.

My experience shows that this often leads to the line of thinking "Well it shouldn't all be about tips, the restaurants should just pay their servers a decent wage and take the pressure off of the diners to leave them good tips."

TheWorkingGuy.com replies :
Awwwwww! You are just so *CUTE* when you're wrong!

Please let me to explain for ya why that is such a really, really bad idea...

Simple economics, for starters. Federal minimum wage (as of this March 2012 writing) sits at $7.25 per hour. Using the more extreme example of restaurant waiters who - in about 15 states still - only receive $2.13 per hour (the Federal minimum), paying servers "minimum wage" would obviously add $5 per hour to the restaurant's expenses.

Lets say an average busy restaurant has at least 10 servers to pay each shift, on average. Some places have 20, especially at night, others have only five at lunch. Ten's a good median tho, and for this example I'm excluding restaurants that serve breakfast or are open 24 hours (but double my numbers for them.)

A $5 labor cost increase, times 10 employees, means $50 per hour more the restaurant is paying to be in business from 11am-11pm. That's $600 per day. Guess who's going to wind up paying for that additional overhead expense?

YOU.

Do you really want to see your Denny's special go from $4.99 to $7.99 overnight?

$600 per day.. divided by 200 customers per day... Yeah, my math is solid here.

That's what would happen -OR - you could tip $1 (20%) to keep things the way they are.

That's just for starters. The price increase to you would be dramatic in fact. Restaurant owners would actually have to pass on MORE than the $5hr to you though. Why? Because they pay more than $7.25 out of their pockets for each employee than the employee gets paid. Businesses owners have to additionally pay for Medicare, Social Security, Unemployment and in some cases partial benefits as well (all of which would increase for them proportionately, and be passed on to you).

And lest we forget, higher menu prices would result in you paying more sales tax, for every meal.

In any argument against tipping and for businesses being forced to pay higher wages, the only winner is the government, and the diner is the biggest loser. Really, you're getting a bargain as it is today, by at least still having a measure of control over how much to tip, rather than having it all forced upon you by dramatically increased menu prices and increased taxation, IF restaurants had to pay minimum wage.

I truly am saying all of this for you, for your own good, at least as much as my own.

Now, here's another big difference for you ponder, mi amigo, before I write again...

You know what ELSE would happen if restaurants were forced to pay waiters and waitresses minimum wage, and tipping were done away with? I, and probably 90% of servers with any skill or experience at all would leave the profession overnight, because in truth, we make lots more than minimum wage overall. I'll get into that next.

Until then, please think about every good, or great, waiter or waitress you've ever had, and the levels of service you're accustomed to now at at least the semi-nicer places you frequent.

Now replace every one of them with the teenager who greets you at the counter at Burger King, or the worker who comes to "clean up aisle 5" when you knock something over at Wal-Mart.

Imagine a world where the nicest restaurants you could ever go out to on your 20th wedding anniversary are now being staffed by minimum wage workers, and I think some light bulbs will start going on in your head, and the light of truth will begin to dawn a bit more on why you really should be okay with tipping 20% for really good service.

Because the other way around, you're going to wind up paying a lot more, for a lot less.

Hmmmm, I sense the tide turning perhaps. I'm not done, so stick around for my next trick.