"Why Didn't You Tell Us The Tip Was Included?"

"Indeed, the tip was included, you ignoble savage."

I love it when a table asks me this!

How *I* handle that question is way below, but first ...

Back to Petunia, that no good such-and-such who asks outloud in front of everybody else at the table "Is the tip included?" It probably seemed quite harsh of me, months ago, when I wrote to you that when Petunia asks this, I have to "politely refrain from punching her in the face."

Not that I ever would, but for that second, the impulse to do so does rise up within me, and most other servers as well. All of the ones I've personally asked, or spoken to, about this, that is, I mean. Ever. I can't say that I speak for us all though.

You see people, it's like this: just once on every third blue moon or so, we will still today wait on a larger table who somehow doesn't notice that gratuity was in fact included on their bill, and they'll tip us AGAIN on top of the final amount. The technical term for this rare occurrence would be "Double-grat" but more commonly most of us might just say "Yes! I got Double-bumped!"

It's like Christmas and your birthday and a winning Lotto ticket all rolled up into one. If the credit card voucher were a football, we'd spike it.

Once again my sincere thanks to you Dear Reader for having come with me this far. On top of all the instances that you've to-date graciously taken the time to hear me out on - nevermind the foreigners - do you have any idea how many 60 and 70 year-old women I've had to kiss on the mouth on their birthdays in my line of work? And speaking for my female friends and co-workers, how many times they've been grabbed, pinched, and slapped on the butt as an un-enjoyable yet routine part of their profession?

The indignities certain people inflict upon us while we execute what should otherwise be a simple matter of bringing you your food and drink are occasionally beyond belief.

Not himself prone to whining, David Hayden writes "Serving will give you reason to doubt yourself, your restaurant and your guests. Your very faith in humanity will inevitably be called into question. Some nights you will have a hard time finding a reason to smile. Waiting tables is a difficult profession, and there will be shifts where all signs point to you walking out with empty pockets... The only way to be a great server is to be optimistic anyway." - Tips Squared : Tips for Improving Your Tips

90% of the time (depending upon where one works I'd say) things go fine and most of us "somewhat to sincerely" enjoy our work and our interactions with the guests we wait on. Then there are times when we put up with various types of abuse and almost don't care, because we're getting paid. You can run us back and forth, speak rudely to us, perhaps grab and grope us, and we will still speak well of you and perhaps even fight and finagle our way to wait on you when you return, so long as you tip us well. We're whores and we know it, and how you tip is the only criteria by which we judge you.

Conversely, if you are nice as can be and tell us "You're the best server I've ever had..." (the dreaded "verbal tip" we call it, because we know that's almost a sure sign of a bad tip to come) we will rat you out to other wait-staff telling them to not waste their time giving you their best service, and many will curse out loud when you are seated in their sections, if you tip in the 10-15% range routinely.

(Actually, I won't personally rat you out if you tip poorly. I've matured, I know it might have been me or a mistake I made, and I think every guest deserves to be treated well without their server being pre-disposed to ignore them. I also view it as a challenge when a server tells me this right before I approach a table, and I'll tell you now that I've been rewarded many times for doing so with a good tip and an astonished look from the server who's attitude apparently played more into how that particular guest tipped them "the last time." Speaking in generalities though, if you're a bad tipper, word will get out to the staff, just fyi.)

But if we get paid, we'll suppress or somehow deal with our emotions when people are awful. But to deal with the downsides of our worst customers on a (non-gratted) table of four for example, then to find out that you got drunk and left without filling out and signing your credit or debit voucher - or walked out of the restaurant with the TOP COPY that you did fill out, leaving us the bottom one blank and with no tip at all for our hard work - can dang near break our spirits into tiny shards, at times.

So of all of the times when we literally lose money for having waited on you, and the times where we have no income to show for our work, we (the survivors among us, I mean) suppress all normal, healthy, human reactions to these instances and just breathe deeply when these things happen, in order to hold on to our sanity and our jobs ...

"How do we do that?" you might ask...

By saying to ourselves "It all evens out on the end..."

So here's the newsflash - that rare day when somehow, someone, actually double-tips us - is in fact THE WAY that it finally evens out for us! We've been consoling ourselves - and one another - over and over that things will even out for us, and today's the day it finally did!

Not even numerically mind you, just emotionally.

This is the moment when we finally look up to the heavens and declare "There's justice in the world after all! Yes! Yes!! YES!!! There IS a God! And He hasn't forgotten me!!!"

Okay before you judge me, first off it's not like we lied, cheated, or deceived you to make this happen, okay? Generally speaking, we just did our job and obeyed company policy while doing so. Of course we're secretly hoping it will happen every time we lay down the check, sure. But auto-gratting has become so commonplace today, that getting double-bumped rarely happens today. In the old days, you might not have caught that a tip, or an "auto-grat" (as I've been calling it) or a "Service Charge" (as it's now becoming referred to) was indeed worked into your bill. So maybe you're still angry about that one time, from years back. I understand.

Yes, I am aware that restaurant checks of the past somehow managed to obfuscate this detail, and that back before computers some server might've gotten away with illegibly scribbling this detail on your check in hopes that you'd miss it, and that 10 or 15 years ago, you might've gotten taken.

But the way it is today, every restaurant has heard your cries, taken your angry phone calls the next day, fired the parties responsible if and when you were indeed duped, doesn't want to receive any more such phone calls, and today, makes sure that any auto-grat or service charge that may apply was disclosed both up-front when the reservation (?) was made, and then again in easy-to-understand ways on your check and then (at most places) even once again on your credit/debit voucher, so that REALLY Petunia, it's totally on you if you somehow still miss it.

So don't be a Petunia. At least read your bill before asking the question out loud, willya?

Put simply, when an auto-grat has been included, this information is readily available on your check. If you don't see an auto-grat or service charge itemized however, then I'd say you're free to ask, just to keep yourself from getting taken. That's definitely fair, I'm just asking that you look before asking.

Petunias are almost never the ones picking up large checks for an entire table anyways. Petunias rear their head mainly when it's a group with separate checks. Just as the server is sneaking away after laying down those checks, she pipes up with "Is the tip included?" dashing our hopes - however miniscule they may be - of getting a few extra dollars and perhaps a much-needed emotional rush from the one person at the table who missed that detail. Petunia may think she's gaining favor with her friends, but as I've detailed, there are almost certainly one or two people dining with her who are going to think much less of her for years to come.

Now, many of us servers have all played around with creative ways to answer you if you ask "Is the tip included?" that perhaps won't reveal our disappointment, while still angling for a little more, if you happen to be so inclined (and many people are, believe it or not).

About fifteen years ago for instance, I heard my past co-worker TIMMY keep a straight face while smoothly answering "Yes ma'am. The 15% minimum. You're allowed to leave more though, if you feel that my service was better than the minimum."

To which I thought "Note to Self : Steal that line!"

Another co-worker, Pistachio, had taken his schmoozing and levels of shamelessness to new heights by often delivering his perfectly rehearsed "Yes ma'am, the 18% minimum service charge has been included, which is split up between the bartenders, busboys, food-runners, hostess staff and myself, but there's a line there for you to include additional gratuity if you thought the service was exceptional, and that would be all mine to keep. While it's of course not required, it is always appreciated." I don't know how he managed to spit all of that out of his big cheesy-mustached-toothy grin so regularly - and I almost can't believe he never got fired for such a spiel - but I can tell you that he did receive extra gratuity about three out four times he said it. Good luck trying that one out my fellow servers, and do so at your own risk.

My answer nowadays usually falls somewhere between the two, depending upon my read of the person asking, my own assessment of how well I served them, how I feel at the moment, and just how much self-respect I'm willing to sacrifice for a possible five or a hundred more dollars in "Additional Gratuity."

So these are the types of things we've invented as our own little "auto-replies" when asked. Of course we're hoping you don't ask, and now you know why we don't go out of our way usually to tell you that the tip has been included (unless the restaurant's policy requires us to - that's a different story). We're simply kind of hoping that today will be our special day. Multiple bad experiences over many years prior have made many of us jaded enough to where we don't feel even one bit bad about this. And I'm sorry for that, but hey times are tough; if you can afford to eat where I work, I'm just not that inclined to feel a lot of sympathy for your financial situation.

All of this of course is my "long answer" to the original question which I'm disclosing to you as my reader, but none of this is anything akin to what I'd tell you as my customer. If you were to look up and ask me as my customer "Why didn't you tell us the tip was included?" ... well, when that happens, for me, it's showtime.

First, I will attempt to let all of the blood rush from my face, in hopes of turning completely white in front of you, as my eyes grow wide. Then, I will appear genuinely shocked - hurt, even - at the question. (All of this in less than two seconds.) Then, regaining my composure, I summon my best Alfred the Butler impression and say simply ...

"Well... Sir ... (I cough, shake my still-reeling head a bit, and then lower my voice so that the neighbors won't hear how you're embarrassing yourself, and continue) "...At any place I've ever worked it's grounds for termination for me to mention the tip in ANY fashion. We're not permitted to bring up the topic with guests in any way. But the service charge is stated on the menu, and it's itemized again on your bill to make sure you know this. And I'm glad to answer any questions, but me bringing it up is in really poor taste, and might even get me fired."

Which usually shuts the ignoble savage right up.

The ones it doesn't shut up all say that same thing - "Well, I woulda tipped you more if you hadn't included the tip already." And you already know my answer to that one.

If you're new to this site feel free to catch up by reading Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 and Part 7 on tipping and auto-gratuity, and subscribe to this blog for the final installments.

The Auto-Gratuity's Effect on Service

Welcome back friends and enemies alike! 

Working 2 jobs has it's ups and downs, and one of the downsides is definitely a shortage of time to blog. But I've finally got a couple of days off, so I'm squeaking out yet another thrilling installment of my series on tipping (and the auto-grat) today. If you're new to this site please read Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 and Part 7, and subscribe to this blog for the final installments.

For you cool kids in the know already ...

Source : TheAtlanticWire.com
"Please Welcome the Rise of the Automatic Gratuity"

The word "Auto-grat" (which I'll be using from here on) is simply restaurant servers' affectionate term for the "automatic gratuity" that in many places gets included on larger tables. Generally, groups consisting of around 8 people will get auto-gratted, and possibly on parties of as few as 5 or 6 people - and occasionally even less - depending upon the establishment's policies.

For example, where I currently work the menu reads "20% Gratuity will be added for parties of 7 or more."

Maybe it's (an archaic) 15% where you like to dine most, and just maybe 20% seems a little bit steep to you.

Over the years I've worked at restaurants where the auto-grat was 15%, 18%, and now (finally!) 20%. What this means to me actually (I'll get to you soon enough) is simply that "I've moved up" in the past several years. I can say this most especially because I've also worked in places where there was and still is NO auto-grat for large groups... and you know what? By comparison, these are the crappiest restaurants you can choose to frequent. I'll explain why later, but just know that I've found the longer I'm in this business, I finally see how the auto-grat actually benefits the paying customer now, not just how it benefits me.

"OH RE-A-L-L-L-Y?" you may be thinking.. "But I thought automatic tips just produced lazier waiters, who don't work as hard because they know they're going to get paid no matter what! HOW can you say such a preposterous thing, young man?" Read on John...

I'm with you, to a point anyways, as I can freely admit that occasionally the guarantee of getting a tip does cause some workers to slack off a bit. More than a bit in rare cases, conceded. And as I've already made clear, you the customer have every right to speak to a manager and have that charge removed or reduced if you don't feel the service was adequate. But as I've also said, it happens much more frequently that good servers who give great service get stiffed or screwed over by cheap or unknowledgeable (often foreign) customers, than good customers get taken by bad servers.

It happens, I know, but most often these are the laziest workers and/or the most mis-matched people for the job, who eventually weed themselves out and either 1) Quit because they're really just not suited for this line of work, or 2) They get themselves fired for their non-customer-service attitude or their shoddy work ethic overall. Good riddance either way, I say.

For the majority of us in the business however, the psychology behind the auto-grat actually has a reverse effect of what you might initially think. What actually starts going through a decent worker's mind are thoughts like "Oh I can't slack off or mess up on this table. I don't want them accusing me of acting lazy because of the auto-grat. I can't afford to have them talk badly about me to a manager, because I might lose my job. Or I might never be given a big table again. I'd better make sure I'm doing an extra good job on this table, EVEN IF this means I have to kind of ignore other tables..."

(Exhibit A : Old-time blog readers of mine will remember my "work-wife" story, where I shared that the first time I was given a table of 12 people at a new job, I actually paid my co-worker $20 - in advance! - to help me make sure the table got great service.)

Seriously folks, as I "moved up" in this field, I've spoken with many, many, servers who have told me that THIS is the attitude they began to take when assigned larger tables that will be auto-gratted. At a personal level, we simply don't want to be accused of "being lazy because the tip is included." Of course there's bad apples in every field, and if you'll just hang with me on this I'll try not to come to your job and judge your performance by what your laziest co-worker does, okay?

Look, no supervisor wants to deal with angry customers, right? Not one, not two, but definitely not ten at once! So speaking in very broad terms here of course, I want you to understand that when given a choice, restaurant policies and the individual managers are going to default to giving the larger tables to the servers who have proven that they can and will consistently give such parties good service. This is but one way seeing an auto-grat on your bill has worked in your favor that you didn't even know about. It's exponentially truer by the way, if you made a reservation, and management had the chance to plan the evening, and to make a personal merit-based judgment call on what server(s) are going to be assigned your large table.

Are you starting to follow me yet, even just a bit? The management doesn't want to get bitched at by the customers of course, but especially not by his or her bosses either, if your complaint goes over their head to their superior (or online, these days). Simply put, the greater the number of people at the table, the more a "floor manager" has a vested interest in your satisfaction, and wants to give your table to the best server(s) available at the time you walk in - if he or she has any choice in the matter. Without a reservation, it may come down to random rotation of course, and the server you get - especially if they happen to be new - will be in a "sink or swim" position... Either they step up and do a good job by you and hope you say something nice about them to the manager on your way out so they can move up, or they'll possibly get a complaint and be out of work without some drastic improvement. And generally speaking, they know this.

If it's any consolation to those of you that may resent the autograt, every place I've ever worked, auto-gratting a check can only be done on the computer by a manager. Our pimply-faced minimum-wage friend Fred can't just add a tip to any check he pleases. At my last two jobs, both companies' policy stated that the manager on duty HAD to drop by the table, and check in with the party before the autograt even got added to the bill. Generally, this will happen sometime after the entrees have been served, or while you're enjoying desert. (That's your chance to speak up, by the way. Otherwise, forever hold your peace.) If at that time the table is a hot mess of uncleared dirty dishes, the manager will either speak to the server to correct it, or tell them they're not going to auto-grat the table, simply because he/she either thinks the auto-grat wasn't earned, or doesn't want to risk the complaint of such coming back to his/her boss.

So now you know okay? I'm sorry to you younger servers reading this who may not appreciate me telling the customers exactly when and how it is most strategic to lodge a complaint or get you un-gratted. But hey, I've got a book to sell and that's not going to happen without me spilling some secrets okay? Just do your job and you'll have nothing to worry about. If you're overwhelmed and can't keep up (which still happens to me, to all of us) part of doing your job involves knowing when to ask your teammates or management for help, thus ensuring that your guests receive the service they deserve. So swallow your pride youngster, drop the attitude that the world owes you a living, get help when you need it and you will start making more money as well as stop giving the rest of us a bad name.

Where was I?

Oh. The fact is that - bad apples aside - nicer restaurants are staffed with decent workers who have bills to pay and who have goals in life, who therefore actually do want to do their job well, so that they can move up a little over time, and who are going to work hard to earn the right to be assigned the larger tables (that are auto-gratted) more and more frequently because (light bulb!) that's where the money is!

I and every other server in America know that we make our money based on three factors and three factors only, and "Surprise! Surprise!" only one of them even PARTLY relates to how good our service turns out to be.

#1) Volume : the number of people we wait on per night, multiplied by

#2) Sales : the amount of money you spend (or that we convince you to spend) multiplied by

#3) Gratuity: the percentage of the total bill that you leave as a tip (10, 15, 18, 20, 30%+, whatever...)

Except for the auto-grat, the last of course remains out of our control. Some people are just poor tippers who will never change, and that's just one sad fact of my and others servers' lives. For every story you can tell me about receiving bad service and seeing the tip added, I can tell you dozens about when I gave great - impeccable even - service and still got tipped 0-10%. We servers all know that whether or not we get a 20% tip (our minimum expectation when service is great) depends as much upon WHO we're waiting on and the TYPE of customer you are, as it does on the quality of service we give.

Receiving 25-30% tips (this may shock some of you, but yes, some people do tip in that range voluntarily) begins with the type of customer first, combined with giving fantastic, attentive, personalized service. 30% doesn't happen every night (to me at least) and for the most part whether a server receives 0% or 30% remains fairly unpredictable, and largely out of our control.

So what CAN we at least influence, if not control.......?

Total sales per guest check can be increased over time if we work on little things like suggestive selling of appetizers, deserts, highly-priced wine, etc. And we do, and some restaurants reward us (via daily contests, via better schedules, or by monitoring our PPA - Per Person Average - because the company wants to see those numbers go up, and their profits increase).

As to volume, we can't really do that much as far "marketing" to get more people walking through the doors, except from giving fantastic and personalized service that results in you asking for us by name when you do come in. "Call parties" (as we refer to them) aside, we can't otherwise do that much to effect how many people come in, or how many sit in our section tonight. (Well, actually there was this one time when I was dating a hostess and got more tables than I should have, but that was a long time ago and it's not a tactic I could employ now. However, offering occasional bribes, drinks, food, flirting and compliments actually does work out pretty well for some waiters.)

BUT in general, we CAN work our asses off to prove to management that we're worthy of being chosen to get that party of 8 or 12 that does call up for a reservation tonight. With the minimum gratuity being guaranteed and the volume being handed to me, I can focus so much better on service (and salesmanship ;) with your party, than I can with my other tables. If my manager knows beyond any reasonable shadow of doubt that you are going to get great service from me and have nothing but nice things to say about our restaurant when you leave for days and weeks and months to come, then he's going to assign you to me, as well as many more large tables over time.

But if he's going to receive complaints and perhaps be told that "We resent the tip being added because our server seemed lazy and really didn't deserve it" just how long do you think it's going to be before he assigns me to another large party? Or to the Unemployment Office?

Point being, contrary to what you might think or even have experienced a few times in your life ... I, and every decent server knows that making a conscience choice to give bad service "because the tip is included" becomes so counter-productive to our financial needs and goals that it's not even a logical choice. Exceptions of bad workers aside (blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, okay?) we DON'T give you worse service "because the tip is automatic."

Generally speaking we will try to give you better service, or at least the best that we're capable of, because doing so equals money in our pockets, and will continue to do so long after you're gone.

So, those times when you see a gratuity added, it's most likely worked in your favor because - out of the servers you could have gotten that night - the odds are you got one whom the hostess or manager knew would result in the least amount of complaints to them personally.

That's just one way the auto-grat works in your favor. I'll share another one next, as well as support my earlier statement that restaurants that don't ever include the tip in your bill are likely the worst places to eat.

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